I'v been lying for a while now. Without really realizing it but still. Somewhere I started to believe that I didn't love anything or anyone. You know, I made the word LOVE soo big that I was nowhere near to use it. That no one near me could really mean it. Cause there's only a few, like Gandhi, that really know how to use it. Sure I do like tacos, my friends, my apartment but love...Hm. Isn't that something that's only in the movies or if you'd ever would say 'I Love You', it would be written in stone forever? I mean I've seen love change and disappear so I'd never dare to say 'I love you' to someone I'd only known for a while or wouldn't love for the rest of my life.

So somewhere on the road I turn my back on love.
Said it wasn't for me, It isn't worth it, I'm not in need of it. It was unachievable. Impossible. Silly.
Pffft. All lies, lies and lies.


So maybe I was doomed to live a whole life without any kind of love. If it was someone else I'd say that that life would probably be pretty empty. But in my, not very objective, eyes I'd fool myself by saying that I'm only protecting my heart.

...But then. (Yes, there's a twist in this story ;P) Today. Yup. I wrote some of what I love. It ended up as a list that could have gone on and on... Where did I get the idea that I didn't/couldn't/shouldn't love? I'd made my lies true, for a long, long time. So I got surprised...


When I realized that I do LOVE my friends, I do love the sun, love food, love my apartment, love to be talented and if you only knew how much I do love to smile. And it's okey if I tomorrow love a stranger or if I one day love to surf or stop loving my apartment and started loving my house or roomies instead. As long as I allow Love. This is what I'm gonna remember. All you need is Love (Beatles knew it).

So this is my confession.
I do love to love. I want to feel love, give love and recieve love.