I've been reading something like 650 pages on three days. Puuh. Three different books. Gosh, I'm actually impressed. So with that, read books written by Jonas Gardell. Oh my God. They really got to me. Humans can be so evil. Children can be so evil. And grown-ups so blind. We are all so cheap, cheap creatures. Makes me wanna be a blackbird instead. The blackbird sings cause it doesn't have to be a man. If I could I'd sing in tone.

We would sell our souls just to be acknowledged. We would sell the souls of the ones we care about n' love, just to be noticed, seen and anything but invisible. Even hated. We are disgusting. We take away childhoods and wonder why grown-ups are the way they are.

Maybe we're not that clever after all. Next I'd like to read Jenny.
Guessing already now, that tears will be fallin'.

Asymmetry combined with xmas tree

I'm such a typical human. Right? Have lots of good stuff but all just blind, blind...Hrmf, hrmf. It's like I'm squeezing and scratching my heart to see if it hurting. Staring at the scars and searching for the wounds. Guess what? If you turn it and twist it like that, for hours and hours, it will hurt. Obviously.

So, While I'm hanging with my tiny little demons in my head, I could give you some positivity aswell. As a contrast. To balance the asymmetic heart. I'm totally into gingerbread. I just actually saw a bit of sunshine now - rare. I've got a christmas tree in the foyer of my building. Aaw, tiny NY-feeling, isn't? I've got good reviews on a presentation at uni and on my exam. And tonight some cute friends are coming over. It should all be good. But still, still I'm feeling worries n' disappointments in my stomach. I better snap out of it. Right?

I'm wordless


Men are Objects



Men are hotness. Let's objectify them like never before. I'm just so into that idea ;)
By the way, I'm suppose to:

a) write a CV that's awesome, winning and did I mention awesome?
b) Make presentation at uni today, read a whole book til 2mrw n' friday.
c) Work evenings Thurs-Sat.
d) Clean my messy home.
e) Fix my laptop n' my window.
f) Be social with friends.


But all I've been doing is thinking, eating gingerbread, watching Glee and thinking. Totally been into the thinking-part. Puuh. But today's another day so - I guess I better get started, no time to waste =P Just start chopping away...

Wanna wear this now ;)

cheapful curse is a gift

How do you really see?
Really feel?
Really exist?

Isn't that the hardest of it all, to see, to feel, to hear and to be...? Like be 100 percent devoted to it. I don't know. Do you ever really manage to do all of this or are we just fooling ourselves? We can analyze for hours and hours but still not understand completely. But maybe we're just too predictable. Yes, we really are a bunch of sheep. Especially when you can see a pattern in how people act. But then again not, just because you never know why another person is thinking like he/she is or what the person's really thinking. Its' all hidden.

Why are we? Sometimes It feels lika a gift to be a human, and sometimes like it's a curse. Isn't everthing in life always a paradox and full of contradictions? What did I expect? Who fooled us?

When sentences wear meaningless words

I'm in the mood of writing. You know, usually you have a flow, something you'd like to get out in the open. But now, I have nothing to say and all the words in the world to say it. Uh. Am I frustrated? Am I happy? Should I be worried? Should I have faith? I don't know. Empty. Or more indifferent. In a positive way? No, I don't know. So many possibilites to talk but nothing to say. That's Why I'm a bit quiet here.

Inspirerande former

(the girl with the hair - unknown. All the rest - Lolita).

Johnny Hot


Le Love to all

You know sometimes, you have this feeling. This feeling you really can't explain. You just feel quite good, just being with yourself, listening to music and you're smiling without really knowing why. No special reason, no boy, no friend, no future plan or a past memory. No, it's just you. A tiny sweet feeling of relief of just being. A human being. Being you. This feeling is so rare and so comfortable. I just wanna feel it in every little bone structure inside of me and take a deep breathe. Awesome. Really just keep on to this feeling and enjoy it. Ever felt it? I hope all of us gets this feeling more and more often. Start with - turning of your television. The tele's bad, bad for you =)

So while having this cute feeling, I remembered that I made a comment on this post; LeLove.
And I got the sweetest answer ever; Julia, You just made my day. I almost got tears in my eyes and couldn't stop smiling. How awesome =) Internet is so cool. Connecting people =)  Pussssssss.


Cutiepies <3 When otters sleep, they hold hands so they would
lose each other out in the big, big ocean cause of the currents.


Say hello to Pippi Longstocking =) She's the strongest girl in the world. She thought she was so strong that she got really drunk. But that's another story. And not the Pippi Astrid Lindgren wrote about. Oh well, So I missunderstood a tiny bit =P It happens. Hugs - Pippi.

Cold as ice varied with hot as fire

Yes. Maybe I could say something. Like tell you about the amusing saturday Pippi Longstocking had. But I'm ill. The snow came today as expected but I was still shocked. So shocked that I got the fever, you see. and the swollen throat. and all the freezing in my veins. And the sleepy eyes. And the sore joints (hehe, multifunctional word) in my body. Uh. I'll be the reflecting, emotional and thoughtful version of me. Soon. Soon. Like in april =P

Narrow perspective and a ocean of units and Moments

My perspective of life is very narrow now. I can't see the whole picture. It's like one unit at the time. Coffee, ben & jerrys (ate a whole one yesteday, booya), breakfast, sleeping, working. One thing at the time and only half of my heart in it. All because saturday. But I have my moments. Yesterday was a moment (or the evening was). A moment where I thought for myself that there's more to life than just him (mostly because an other flirt came to my work, haha. Silly little maneater I am. But no, not really).

Oh, Also, I'm being obsessed with Madonna (If you click here, you'll get the playlist I've created).  Obsessed as usual, haha. Oh well, I'm gonna make this whole weekend a moment. Good, good everlasting moment. Mm. My studies are getting a tiny bit behind. But I'll take care of it on sunday. Now I'm gonna do one of my favorite things nowadays; Shower. Really feel the water on your face and hear nothing. Nothing else at all. Just all the water on me, through my heart.



(photo, photo)

Pause it

Oh my oh my. The sky's crying. Oh my oh my. I cannot stop thinking. And I really, really have to. Cause I have an exam tomorrow. But it's hard, cause I don't want to. I just want to be deep, deep inside of my thoughts. Far away from reality. On my own little vacation. But I have to pause it. I could continue my vacation tomorrow. I have to come home now.

Why is the sky crying? If I could I would hug it, if it would help. You see, my mind isn't especially interested in studying now. Even though it really is. I mean, interesting. I hate it when I have to leave my own little neverland. But I guess I hate it even more when someone else forces me to come back. Today it's all me. For the sake of passing the exam. Let me. Pass it. Let me. Daydream.



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