Open your heart

H a l l o w e e n

Imagine, just standing so damn close to someone, can make you feel so much.
Make every little cell in your body jump to life. The bodys own little ecstasy.

Imagine, No touching can feel so much on the skin.

Imagine, Just looking in each others eyes can bring so much to life.


Just thinking about it makes my heart beat faster.
You're not for real.
We're not for real. It feels so unreal. Like a dream.

The fact that you see. You see. Me. Unbelievable. Everything around me just disappeared and the time just stopped. All around me was insignificant. For you were there. The fact that I saw. I saw.

And all we did was stand.
So close. Unbelievable close.
That was enough.
Enough to feel alive. To be human.

Maybe I revealed
too much. Maybe I opened up too much. But this time I wasn't scared 'cause you were not mine to lose. I cannot lose what I do not have. You are someone elses now and that's why I dared. I dared to tell. And you stayed. Yes, you stayed there anyway.

It gets better <3 Part 2

Purple Love

It gets better <3

Wearing purple today to show people that it gets better. That people who think they're alone, useless and weird, they're not. They have support. They are equal. WE are equal. Always. Humans. Same. Lovable.


Today, I finally saw Avatar, The last airbender. It was a sweet movie! Very cousy. Hard to know if I'd like it more if I hadn't seen the serie or if I like it just because of it. One thing I do know is that the person I went with has the sweetest heart ever. And no matter all that have happened, happens or will happen, I'm glad that he exists. And hope the best for him in life.

Good Morning.



This Gorgeous man is very welcome to wake up in the mornings,
spoon me or just sit in my livingroom and be gorgeous ;)

Camera Pics

(Små plastiga hästar)

I'd like to master my big camera. My Nikon D60. Have to practice.
Read the manual. Get inspired. Sooon. Create my talent ;)

Tracy Chapman - Fast car


End of Week

Just wanted to say that yesterday and today felt better. Two days in a row. Indeed. Indeed =) A bit more. A bit easier. A bit sweeter. A bit better. Yes, let's enjoy the babysteps toward project happier. Godnatt!

L e i c e s t e r M e m o r i e s

(photos: by my talented cousin Cecilia, stolen fr her Facebook).


Wherever I live it's always freezing during this time. Haha. I remember my last home. We had blankets on the windowsill, which caused some ice on the window.

So it was quite ironic when I moved to this flat instead. It's was like crazy sauna during the summer. And now it's quite ironic once again. This time, cause I sleep with duvet, blanket and a bedspread. Haha. Life's Ironic. Next life I'm gonna be a part of the Sun. Or Perhaps Mercury... =P

Kings of Leon during a break fr happiness =)

Jules <3 image.



No, today wasn't better. I just want to hit something. Haha. Or mostly my computer now, when it's not 'finding' the memory card. Gah, Just wanted to put the photos fr England up. Fuck. fuck. fuck. fuck. fuck. fuck! I'm a totally sweetheart. Haha, not. I need to find some time to read The Secret again, or The Power or something similar. You know I used to love fall. And be happy. Haha. This isn't Jules. This is bajs. Hate people (not really, just the majority). Luckily, I have Kings of Leon on Spotify. Four of their albums in one list. Aaah. They're so good. Love so many songs! Here's the list; LoveKingsofLeon.

Airplane Lover

Just home fr England.
The time just ran away fr me and now it's all quiet.
Cold and empty. And my heart is acting like a lonely, bitchy little drama-queen.
It needs some tea, sleep and fingers crossed that tomorrow will be easier. I'm thankful for my trip and all the trips I've ever, ever done. To be in an airplane gives me butterflies in my belly. A smiling feeling inside. To look out through the window and see the world from a birds perspective. Wow. Dancing with the clouds and flirting with the sun. To stand on the grey sidewalk scares the butterflies away. But they'll be back.
They have to come back. Thank you, England.

Coffee is an eternal substitute?

I wonder I...
...If there's a connection between over-thinkers (yes, we have a name now) and coffee. Cause it's seems like Over-thinkers love coffee. And I mean love to drink it, talk about it, hear it bryggas and long for the morning-coffee in the nights. Yes, it's something about coffee, alright. That's for sure.


A stone just lifted fr my shoulder. Thanks to sisters friend.
The transfer fr the airport on Sunday is completed. No weird train, bus, stops, waiting etc.
Puhhh. Lucky me.

And my friend Sofia is so sweet. It's gonna be a tiny bit empty without her. Or quite much.
I'm happy for her though. Wish her all the best. I'll just hug her a bit more before she goes =)

Today I need easy


Not hard books or websites that doesn't work... Today I need some cooperation. Or some sun perhaps.
Combined with alcohol. Hehe. But mostly cooperation. puss.

The Hatter is dancing his dance Backstage aswell

Paris in January.

Guess what? Today when I woke up, I didn't have the feeling of wanting to puke on the world. That was nice. And I actually noticed how pretty this fall is. Yes, it's amazing! The yellow leaves and the contrast together with the very, very blue sky. And I could smell it (the fall, I mean) without feeling panic (at least for a minute or two). So with other words, it's was a pretty good day.

Babysteps are probably the key. I've also realised that perhaps I just really need a lot of time backstage for the moment (Google Goffman;P). Deciding how I'd like my presentation of myself to be. And you know what...? That's hard. It's really, really hard. Especially for someone with soo much decision anxiety, fears and too many thoughts. Hehe. No, really, It's hard for everyone.


So that's why I rather be backstage a lot cause I'm a bit shy now when I'm aware of all the role playing we do and all the masks we wear frontstage. I know that I do have some power to 'control' my presentation but it also depends a lot on the interactions I participate in and where this scene is taking place. I believe that I just need more energy for it. So that I'll stop feeling helpless and passive, just because other people have more to do with my own identity than I'd like to admit. But I'll get there. Babysteps, some optimistic literature, less serious perspective on life and more trusting. Puh, looooots of work. But first - Hidning backstage and mini-holiday in England. Sweetness. Sorry for this writing-a-book-post. Xoxo.


In your mind - The ticket's free

Morning, morning.Trying to study, but honestly, I think it's kinda hard.
So I'm drinkin coffee, that could have been a bit hotter, rubbing my eyes and thinking of England.
Yes, I'm going there on Sunday. I think I really, really need it. My mind and my heart have
been a bit down so this will probably lighten them up. See some refreshing enviroments. I wonder
how important that really is, cause in my course, all we talk about is the importance of other people.
Hm. I, sooo, wanna see more places. Wanna go to New York, Buenos Aires, Berlin, Valencia, Istanbul,
Prag, Sydney and Los Angeles.
Aaaw. But first Leicester. And before that: Understanding the terms
I'm suppose to use on an analyze of a boring movie. Eh.

Stockholm in my Eyes


I'm blind nowadays. Blind for the beauty I used to be able see. Lost the vision. I've forgotten how to feel the sun on my face, see the colors in the leaves, smell the nature and hear the voices around me. Nowadays all I hear is the voices inside. And the trust me, you're not suppose to listen that much to them. No no no no.

But I do look forward to the day when I do feel relief again. Oh, I long for that day. Come soon, oh please come soon. And if you'd like, you can bring hope aswell. And the feelings and I can just laugh at the silly little voices together and shake our small little heads in harmony. from right to left, from left to right. Soon soon.

But now, time for coffee.

Tung och Disträ

(?, Etc..)


Oh, was almost a week ago. I've been havin' a virus on my laptop that needed to die before I dare to use my baby again. Now it's gone =) relief. It's so weird how time works. We're not best friends, really. It's feels like the time's not moving anyting at all but still - I'm always late. It feels like I never manage to do anything but at the same time that I have, all the time in the world. It feels like I'm wasting my time when there's still so much that I don't know what to do with it.

Time. This autumn is so slow, and still it's already October.

loooving the look


Okey, Give me pants =) I'll try to do the T-shirt by myself. As long as someone give me the pants.
Otherwise I'm just a bit blue. Blue with red hair. Hah. Hopefully the breakfast buffet with my sis tmrw will cheer me up. Mmm. Coffee. That's the bribe I need in the mornings, cause otherwise my duvet would win. And my life would be a bit more empty. Haha. Ps. My darling (laptop, dah) may have some evil virus-thingy on it. Oh dear.

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