Norah Jones – ...Featuring

Good album. Good. Album. Itz goooooood =) I've been feeling better, not that much stressed out, inside with panic and all. Maybe it's cause I've been working, not drinking alcohol as water, hanging with friends, seeing the sun and not worrying as a crazy lunatic over my spanish course. Only just a bit...

Guess what? Psychology, images and gender is a bit weird/fun/hard to say in spanish =P
Psicología, imágenes and de género. (say it like: sicolo-schiiiia, imaaa.schenes and de geeen.e.rooh).
Haha!

Wish me luck, darlings.
Wish me luck.
Besos!


(beutifiul wörd, isenit?)

Ms Hemmingway in a cool outfit, perfect for spring... =)
(knight)

Oh, I'm living in a igloo like a tiny little eskimo. By the way, that song eskimo with Red hot chili peppers is a good one ;) Giva it a chance =) I've been buying expensive books for uni and am praying that I'll pass the course. How cool isn't the thought of being able to speak spanish more fluently in June? Awesomeness!

I'm so looking forward to spring, it's crazy =) Feeling the sun on your cheek, wearing sunglasses, sitting outside and drinking coffee... Soon, sooon =) Don't really have that much to say as you can see =)  I'm just trying to survive this winter by:

- Eating breakfast with friends. That's the best. I love it.
It's a nice luxury and the day couldn't get a better start =)

- Drinking lots of coffee. And do smoothies.
That's my diet for the winter. Haha.

- Go to the cinema and watch a comedy, like Due Date. I died,
especially cause the girl next to me really laughed like crazy.

- Sleep. I'm always staying up too late and still put my alarm around 9-10.
Do I get up? No. But did I mention that I have a duvet? <3

- Count down the weeks. Soon it's February, and it's better than January, then is
valentine/my sisters Bday/my namn-day/dad's Bday and after that it's already March!
Which means less snow and more spring =)


- Read! Read lovely books that makes you smile.
I'm reading The Power now and I love it =)


- Watch video with stand-up comedians on youtube,
like Max Jobrani and Ricky Gervais.


- Have sleep-overs with friends.


And any minute now, spring will be here =D



(Source1-2, Source3).

- Tss, I'm gettin' wiser for everyday of my life...



...True story.

I'v been lying for a while now. Without really realizing it but still. Somewhere I started to believe that I didn't love anything or anyone. You know, I made the word LOVE soo big that I was nowhere near to use it. That no one near me could really mean it. Cause there's only a few, like Gandhi, that really know how to use it. Sure I do like tacos, my friends, my apartment but love...Hm. Isn't that something that's only in the movies or if you'd ever would say 'I Love You', it would be written in stone forever? I mean I've seen love change and disappear so I'd never dare to say 'I love you' to someone I'd only known for a while or wouldn't love for the rest of my life.

So somewhere on the road I turn my back on love.
Said it wasn't for me, It isn't worth it, I'm not in need of it. It was unachievable. Impossible. Silly.
Pffft. All lies, lies and lies.


So maybe I was doomed to live a whole life without any kind of love. If it was someone else I'd say that that life would probably be pretty empty. But in my, not very objective, eyes I'd fool myself by saying that I'm only protecting my heart.

...But then. (Yes, there's a twist in this story ;P) Today. Yup. I wrote some of what I love. It ended up as a list that could have gone on and on... Where did I get the idea that I didn't/couldn't/shouldn't love? I'd made my lies true, for a long, long time. So I got surprised...


When I realized that I do LOVE my friends, I do love the sun, love food, love my apartment, love to be talented and if you only knew how much I do love to smile. And it's okey if I tomorrow love a stranger or if I one day love to surf or stop loving my apartment and started loving my house or roomies instead. As long as I allow Love. This is what I'm gonna remember. All you need is Love (Beatles knew it).

So this is my confession.
I do love to love. I want to feel love, give love and recieve love.

(Jag skriver av mig för det lättar på det emotionella trycket när man bara vill rycka av sig håret och skrika,
om någon nu tycker jag låter way too bitter och självömkande, men givetvis råd är ju alltid gratis om någon föredrar min optimism... Annars kan man ju bara klicka tillbaka till Facebook eller så om det passar bättre.)

* * *

Shit, helt plötsligt känns det som om jag bara tappat allt. Vart är min morot? Vart är stabiliteten? När kommer lugnet? Jag vet. LoA. Tänk på LoA. Men just nu vill jag mest bara kräkas. Och jag shoppar? onödiga kläder? (tröjan var ju fin^^) Vad är det för fel? Känns helt plötsligt falskt att shoppa headset till en kurs, jag inte har någonsomhelst aning om jag skulle kunna klara. Speciellt inte ens utan böcker. Vem försöker jag lura? Vem försöker jag vara? Shit. Katastrof-tjej alltså. Jag orkar inte just nu. Hur lyckas andra hålla sig själva uppe?  Credd. All credd till er ialla fall.

Jag vettefan vad jag själv gör i alla fall. Alldeles totalvilsen i det vi kallar livet.
Shit var man 21 eller 15??? Alltså jag vet inte alltså. Jag fikar som när jag var 15, slösar med slantarna i takt med de skit som passerar mina läppar. I tron om att bli klokare...lugnare...? Precis som då...

Ska man inte kunna ta hand om sig själv nu? Och i andra stunden känns det som om jag är lugn som en filbunke och lika sliten som mina kluvna hårtoppar. Med ett torrt och gammalt hjärta. Vad gick fel? Helt plötsligt bara 21... Eller var det hela 21 år? Förvirrande. Jag vet. Varför känns det som om det är på gränsen nu? Vem ska man prata med? Finns det en pausknapp? För jag pallar't inte. Guidance, please. Guidance, please. Guidance, please. Guidance, please. Guidance, please. Guidance, please.

Nä, jag får nog läsa mer i The Power nu.
En rast i bok-letandet innan min dator får vattenskador av mina ensamma floder, eller hjärtat voltar för länge alltså. Hur orkar andra?  Oh, jag vet inte. Jag vill bara orka, se en gnista någonstans. Skriva CV's inatt eller imorgon. Jag vet att det är lite drama över detta nu. Jag är lite dålig på tillit- och stress-hantering.
Ska jobba på det. Bland mina hundra andra egenskaper jag ska jobba upp.
Ojdå, fan. Drama igen. Te nu med THE POWER varde'ja. I believe I'm in a need of it.
Kul att jag kan tro ngt ialla fall.


IMORGON FÅR FAN VARA EN FLOW-FREDAG.
(jag önskar mig a friday with flow och gnista. Ps. Friday börjar om 2 minuter).

(Och för en stund, lyckades jag ta ett par djupa andetag. Tack).

Me gustan las fiestas del pijama...







...y Google translator ;)

Soup de Julia

- Cherry tomatoes (400-500 gram)

- ½ Red pepper

- ½ Garlic (which you press)

- Butter

- Onion (Between ½ - 1)

- A vegetable stock cube

- 2 spoons of water

- Black pepper, herbs, sugar and salt (Around 1 teaspoon of each).

Bonus:

- Pesto and/or Creme fraiche.


Put the butter in your sauce pan. Chop the onion and then you put the all spices (garlic, sugar, salt, black pepper and the herbs) in there aswell, together with the onion. Fry it so it'll get a nice smell and looks a bit golden. Then You put the stock cube in there with the water. Stir. Rinse the tomatoes. And now comes the fun! Put the tomatoes and the red pepper in the pan and mix it with a hand blender.  Stir and let it simmer a while.


Then it's done!!!! Nom nom nom. Lätt som en plätt ;D

Ps. If you'd like, you can put pesto and/creme fraiche in it before you use the hand mixer. Then your soup will be a bit more spicer and creamy. Otherwise you can leave it as it is or put a spoon creme fraiche on the top of the soup.

Adorable hair. I'd like to have that haircut. Sweetness ;)

I've been dreaming several different dreams about makeup. Gosh, Am I that shallow...? Recently I even had a dream about Lancôme. What's that about..? What am I concealing, trying to hide..? Or am I just so empty inside and fillin' it up on the outside. Or could it be as simple as the fact that I just need new makeup? So many questions so few answers...


makeup mood.

Swim - Madonna.
Here's no news, no. Just really tired all (aaall) the time.
January...January...little January.
But I'm off to the capital of Sweden 2day.
Hoping for a good, good time (without being as a zombie)...
xoxo

...is to be psychologists for each other. Listen, bring advise and break off the judgements.
Haha, just being there and holding each other up from the dark, dark underground, pushing lightly for the sky. Holding hands. So I'm gonna try to remember. To take baby steps. To trust. A small step somewhere in 2011.
(Maybe someone will prove me wrong).


My friends are angels, who should love themselves more and more for everyday that comes =)

Haha, I'm a bit amusing... I started the new year just det way I've started/ended the last year. By dodging off ;) Typical me. Running off in reality and in my mind =) Oh well, One day I'll maybe find a reason to stay. Only time will tell. TikTok.

This NYE was one of my top three ones! =) Which makes me very thankful, cause Ive had my share of the really crappy ones... Maybe this NYE even was number one, (it's almost a tie between 08/09 and 10/11). Dinner with friends is always a success, with other words. Oh, especially when the food is awesome, they're dancing on the chairs and making jokes so that you laugh really loud =)

Hope 2011 will bring a lot of joy.
I believe I'm worth it =)
Listening to Belle and Sebastian now
- Au Revoir!